Various doodles and such…

Crawman

Reservoir Park

Cartoon

Jellyfish!

Mallard

Whitetails

Yellow Morels

Yellow Morel (Morchella esculenta)

The Fungus Amongus!

The morning and early afternoon were mostly cloudy today, as I hiked into Owl Hollow.  Occassional rainshowers and a bark-worse-than-bite thunderstorm intertwined with bouts of occassional sunshine made photography a bit less simple than it should be  On a few occassions, I found myself huddled under the dense bough of a hemlock tree to keep myself from getting wet.  And, of course now that I’ve given up and made my way home, the sun is shining!

I’m pleased with the way summer has gone thus far.  The wetness of spring has carried over into July, resulting in an explosion of fungal life on the forest floor of Owl Hollow.  It’d been awhile since I mingled around down there, so I took the Nikon D60 out and tried to see if the wetness had influenced any beauties to pop from the ground, or some dead log.  I was not dissapointed in the least.

From golden yellows and bright reds to fiery oranges and deep purples I managed to get snapshots of a wide assortment of mushroom species.  Russulas were definitely dominating over all other species, a fact we can thank the eastern hemlocks for.  Every few yards it seemed some variety of russula would be bursting from the hemlock needles on the forest floor. 

Some russulas have red caps and white stems, others have red with rosy stems, and others have green or brown caps.  It just depends on the species.  Some russulas are said to be edible, but most that I find are insect infested or riddled with chipmunk bites.  A few are inedible, to poisonous, so I just avoid picking russulas for the table altogether.

Here are some mushroom shots I made during todays jaunt. Enjoy.

Finally.

Off two days.  Taking the Nikon D60 for a hike today.  Stay tuned.

Love?

Love? Love? Why do I keep searching high and low?  You take me in your arms then let me go….

Why are gay men such pigs?  Why are they so un-focused, self-absorbed, and issue-assigned that you can’t get even a glimpse of what you would LIKE to see out of a given relationship?

I always said “Love doesn’t exist.  People just kind of settle for each other, and don’t really even know they’re doing it.”  Then I met Adam, who I fell head over heels for.  Things completely changed.  I mean, I can’t sit here and pretend I’m over it completely.  I think about Adam every day of my life, and how much I miss doing stuff with the fish tanks, or eating at the Golden Corrale in Monroeville.  I miss our sayings, hiking, fishing, and all the interests we shared.   He was a complete fucking weirdo, borderline sociopath, and I still loved that kid with every grain of my being up until he ripped my heart out by cheating on me.

Suddenly, love was gone.  I mean, it’s still there…but the person wasn’t real.  He didn’t love me back, so it didn’t count.

But yes…does love truly exist?  Can two men TRULY commit to one another?  I know some have it in them to do so (I’m living proof), but the fact is that gay men in their 20’s, or even 30’s have some major malfunctions that keep them from being faithful partners.

Someone always gets hurt. And it’s usually me.

With Andrew, I can’t sit here and say it’s fireworks and atomic love bombs.  It’s pretty easy for me to say that I’ve been borderline about him since the day I first talked to him.  I mean, there was some physical attraction there, but from an interests perspective we are completely different queers.  He’s semi-closeted due to his military background, a bit older (almost 30), and completely for any type of highway construction or windmill perpetuation if it means making life easier for people.

“The lives of a hundred thousand fish are far less important than that of a single human.”

Suddenly, my blood boiled.  How could he say that?  The new highway to State College makes travel SAFER and EASIER, but Bald Eagle Creek has suffered tremendously from this (as predicted) resulting in warmer water temperatures and far less run off from rains on the side of the ridge now bearing asphalt.  Perhaps if human beings would quit being so damned lazy about things, and start taking into consideration the voices of earths inhabitants that CAN’T speak for themselves, I’d like them more.  But fact is, people died on the OLD highway simply because they were travelling to fast, or without caution.  It was human error that caused this, so why punish the wildlife of Bald Eagle Creek for our own IGNORANCE and STUPIDITY?

Ermm…yeah.  I went off on a tangent there.  So, where was I again? OH YES! MEN!!!!

The whole gay soclal ring of Pennsylvania has depressed the living hell out of me from day one.  Everyone you talk to knows someone else you’ve humped on, and so forth.  The Myspace’s, Gay.com, and LifeOut.com’s of the net have completely changed the way relationships function, and have opened complete new ways for jealousy to enter a relationship. Nowadays, everyone is connected through these sights and locally…you can pretty much scope out two thirds of the areas gay men via a zipcode search or something.

So, as I sit here…I wonder…will I ever find someone with the same views as me?  Or, am I destined (as a gay male) to live my life alone because I’m not willing to compromise my own feelings and beliefs about relationships as a whole?

Somebody save me….

Various Warblings

I’ve been biting at the bit to get out and do some nature photography, but time has not allowed it.  It’s agitating, because when I can’t get out and absorb some nature in some form, I become a vicious miserable bitch to the surrounding world.  It’s not good.  Not for me. Not for anyone.

I’ve solved the bird song puzzle that Jude was trying to solve.

I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but when it comes to birds I’m just a pro, ok? Haha…seriously though.  I had solidified the names, songs and calls of the Eastern Birds of North America in my brain by the time I was 10 years old.  I was even offered to hit the birding trail with a Penn State professor at that time.  How many 10 year olds know when and where to find a Prothonatary Warbler, or Louisiana Waterthrush?  Why be humble about something you don’t have to be!?  In any case…White-throated sparrow it is.  TRUST me!

Speaking of birds, I may be joining the Audobon Society this month, and could perhaps be a contributing artist for their newsletter “The Gnatcatcher”.  Just something fun and creative.  Perhaps it could lead to future networking and bridge building that would allow for the selling of some illustrations.

___

I caught my gym membership back up the other night, so aside from the leaps and bounds I’ve been making lately in my personal life, I can add FITNESS back into the mix as well!

—

Things aren’t working out so well with Andrew. 

I’d been hanging out with him on and off over the course of the past few weeks.  I’d met him in State College, and had talked to him many times online prior to that, so it was kind of interesting that he showed interest in me.  There’s just something about italians….oops!

But anyway, I definitely got a sense of worry with him.  His drunken nights with gay friends in Pittsburgh and such were a bit much for me to handle (after everything Adam put me through), and his addiction to alcohol was really the icing on the cake with me. 

At one point, he was up partying until 5:30 in the morning with his friends at his house and was drinking again by 3 o’clock the next day! BEFORE his LAST drunken spell had even dissipated!  I think what agitated me most about that whole ordeal was that I was so tired that I went to bed at 1:30 (in his bed) and he didn’t come down till 5:30 and was GONE again before I even got up at 10:30. 

It’s plain to see who comes first in THIS picture.  Plus, his friends are already trying to start drama, and, he’s in the military.

Homo don’t play that!

Crazy. Sexy. Cool.

 

You know you want this. lol…

It’s not the best, but it’s MINE!

The new apartment is getting cozy as I make new additions, and decorative decisions…

 

…here we have my guitars.  I have them propped up in the corner of my bedroom.  I have a lot of cool ideas for my bedroom, but it’ll be awhile before I can afford to make all the changes I want.

 

 

I got the tapistry at the “OOGA BOOGA”, or Stone Tool Show which was held at Camp Anderson this year.  There’s a guy from over the mountain who competes with “Nature’s Habitat” in the mall, which allowed me to get this peacock tapistry for about 10 dollars cheaper.  That said, I want to get a blacklight to have near it in the dark.  It’s going to look TOTALLY psychedelic when it’s done.  In addition, I’m getting glowing mushrooms,  and hanging beads (to close off the open doorway between the bedroom and dining room).  I bought a lot of candles and incense to help give my room a good vibe.  I’ve got a fancy chandelier I made into a swag lamp.:

 

Completely out of place at the moment, I’m wrapping it in a black stretchy material and putting purple flame bulbs in it for a more contemporary effect.  It’ll be hanging over my pc desk and ”art station” in due time.  Comcast hooks up the cable internet Wednesday.
 

The kitchen leaves ample room to cook for a single person:

…yeah, the throw rugs don’t match.  I’m working on it. lol…

 

The bathroom is powder blue.  My  shower curtains have palm trees!

My living and dining rooms are both nature themed.  This is one of the walls in my dining room, decorated with antique watercolor bird art.  I also have a shelf in the corner that holds all my wildlife books, and a small table displaying a mounted mallard for added effect.

 

The living room is more than just unfinnished.  It’s completely devoid of any couch or love seat.  So, my coffee table and lamps sit, unused.  I even bought a red throw for my “eventual” couch.  I got leaf ends for my curtain rods to give the room a nature feel.  Wildlife art decorates each wall, except the largest which holds a Van Gough painting.

 

…back to the dining room.  This cloth makes a nice table cloth…I just need to get someone who can sew to fix the edges.

 

…anyways.  The pc will be over at the apartment in a few days so we can go back to our regularly scheduled blogging.  I found a ton of old artwork I did, and old scrapped ideas that might be reborn into some new art.

As far as the love life goes…I’m still single.  And because I refuse to compromise my friends and new life HERE for this new person, I may very well continue to be single.  He just seems so busy…always partying…never really going above and beyond for me.  I just have that feeling…and I’m not going to repeat it.

Hope you all enjoyed my new place!

When I Get Where I’m Goin’…

So, it’s been awhile folks. I apologize for the absence (not sure if I’m even missed) but life has had me in a death grip for the past few weeks and I’ve been either a) busy, or b) too tired to go into detail about the changes my life has accrued recently.

First and most importantly. I’m out of my parents home. I have my own apartment (still missing a couch and love seat), and it’s really looking sharp. It’s first floor, which is sweet, and in a really nice area of the town. My walls are decorated with wildlife art, and I can say that it is TRULY ME 100%. My bedroom shows off my more eclectic, contemporary side - although I’m far from finnished decorating. (I’ll offer more details, and attach photos at some point.) The rooms are big….kitchen, bath, dining, living, and bedroom.

Faught with AT&T about them double charging my debit card, got 120 dollar credit on my account. Been hanging with a new guy (he’s coming down tonite for a fire, and vodka - then STAYING AT MY APARTMENT WITH ME haha), so the love life is also slowly taking shape again.

Been working a lot of hours, playing some guitar…and coming up with all sorts of creative ideas for decorating my place. I’m getting offers on my wildlife art, and I’m still having a blast taking pictures.

As I type though, I’m at my parents. My pc has to stay here until next week when Comcast comes and hooks up my cable internet.

I’ll be in and out over the next week. I finally got gas turned on (cooking, hot water) today.

After moving everything in, calling penelec and the gas company, now I have to go get my address changed, grab a haircut, buy some food, shower, and prepare for the evening.

I’m off today and tomorrow. Having been working extra hours, I’m GLAD to have a break.

I’m almost back.

Divorcing Dependency

July 1st, new apartment. Michael goes solo. Signing the lease and getting the key this week. From here, just a matter of getting some furniture, and getting it all together.

…things should be interesting soon.

When changes occur…

…just roll with’em.

The gears are rolling in the life of Michael again, just as they were back last summer before the stresses and anxieties of a bad relationship froze all advancement.  As I sit here, I’m waiting for my Alero to finnish up getting aligned, and two new front tires. 

I didn’t get to go out to the club this Sunday.  Things just didn’t pan out.  For starters, I was afraid my tire (which was worn from bad alignment) was going to blow.  In addition, I needed an oil change, and had to fill in at work Monday.  So, no partying this week.  I threw back a few screw drivers with aunt Leslie Sunday, and watched her mom’s new pug puppy (which bares striking resemblence to a catfish) amble around the house in cute puppy fashion.

I’m scheduled to go down to an apartment here at 4 o’clock.  I could be moving out in the next month or so, maybe even sooner.  Confrontation and conflict with parents, and the strong urge to get-the-fuck-out on my own has been un-bearable as of late, so something had to give.  I’m not sure how or if I can make it on my own, but there’s only one way to find out.  In addition to waiting tables, I’ve made an advancement in the art career.

The new resturant owners have put up one of my biggest drawings ever at the entrance section of the resturant, where people wait to be seated.  I’m trying to come up with an idea of how to create business cards so that I can sell my art in the resturant, and possibly be commissioned to do some for people.  Since mom and I haven’t been getting along (for a change) it seems dad has been supportive on getting me the hell out on my own.

“You’ll work a lot more, and a lot harder.  But you’ll feel better.” he encouraged me.

“Your art is now going to be an extra income, so you have to go with it and work at it.  It’s going to help your career in the long run.” he insisted.

I see his point.  I guess the fear of “not making it” and not being able to keep up with bills, car insurance, and rent has given me more reason than ever to advance in the artistic realm.  I plan on doing/selling some photography too.  My State Farm Agent wants to see some work, and offered to buy some.

Right now, it’s all about sorting this shit out.  I don’t have much in the ways of furniture, but already I’ve had an offer or two to give me some unused crap.

I think this change could be one of the biggest changes in my entire life.  It’s either going to make or break me.  We’ll see what happens next…